Whenever I walk by the fence that borders my drive and the neighbors yard, their little Chihuahua sneaks up on me and begins to bark like crazy—swirling in circles and trying to look all tough. For about a year the little rodent made me jump and get what I call “hot nerves” because he always seemed to come out of nowhere and startle me. He really knew how to tick me off.
However, about two months ago something strange happened. Pulling into the drive, I noticed the lil’ noisemaker crouched in the corner of the neighbors yard. Slowly I turned the car off and watched as he stalked closer and closer like a cougar ready to pounce on its’ prey. Cautiously I stepped out from the car and without notice he charged and began his notorious bark-swirls.
Oddly enough, that was the moment I realized that this dog actually likes me.
Sometimes in similar fashion people come at us all the wrong way. For whatever reason, they bark, swirl and continuously catch us off guard. They might try to intimidate us or cause us to react in a negative way. It’s almost as if they find enjoyment in this like the small dog that can make a grown man jump.
The dilemma for us arises when we interpret their “bark” as an attack and defensively react in a negative way. Reacting in a negative way or out of emotion is never a good thing. But how can we react positively if someone is constantly coming at us?
The answer lies in our perspective of the situation.
What we might not realize is that most of the time these people are just lonely and trying to seek attention in all the wrong ways. It’s almost as if causing a reaction from someone (even negative) brings some sort of significance to their life. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that this is right or acceptable behavior, but as the recipient of such behavior we must learn to deal with negatives in a positive way as to maintain our own good character.
In the case of lil’ Cujo, I chose to see the barking, swirling and intimidation as his way of playing a game with me. As he tries to scare me, I bring enjoyment to his day. This perspective changed our daily meeting in a dramatic way. No longer do I dread the noisy barks from this taco bell dog, but rather look forward to seeing him because I know deep down, in a twisted way, he loves our time together. If he catches me off guard and makes me jump—he wins. If I spot him sneaking up on me—I win. This perspective might not be based in reality, but it helps me to love the little monster. Sounds weird, I know, but it helps my attitude anyway.
The fact is our perspective matters and makes all the difference! As we challenge ourselves to look for something positive in negative situations or people, we will inevitably change how we react to their barks and swirls. By lightening up and reacting in a more positive way, we can reduce stress and enjoy the interactions with others that we previously dreaded the most.
Proverbs 25:21-22, “If you see your enemy hungry, go buy him lunch; if he’s thirsty, bring him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness, and God will look after you.” (The Message)
If someone barks at you today, maybe just smile and compliment them some way in return. I would love to hear your experiences and/or feedback on this. Part 2 of this post will deal with some specific examples of how I changed my perspective in real life situations. Stay tuned….
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