The smell of “grandma’s” house, the sight of a previously owned home, the voice of an old friend. These things can bring a person back to a place in the distant past and rip it open like a present (no pun intended).
Now that “present of past” could be wanted such as the new iPhone or unwanted like finding out you just experienced identity theft for the third time. When the emotional floodgates open though, how will you fare? Will it sweep you away or will you be grounded with a strong foundation?
Today I had a chance to look back over the past year. I realized I am essentially in the same place that I was one year ago… sort of. Let me explain…
One year ago…
I lived in Kansas City, I was making plans to move, house was for sale, and I was on the verge of starting a church as soon as we moved.
Today….
I live in Chicago, I moved from Kansas City when our home sold, and the church opened its’ doors in January 2007 through a home bible study we began.
Although time has past and much has transpired, and things have changed – I find myself anxious at the gate again, waiting on God. You see, a year ago things were not going as planned. Our house was on the market for over two years. Two separate times we had contracts fall through (not on our side). Once the house sold, I couldn’t seem to find employment in Chicago. I think the distance made it difficult to interview. After a few months of living with someone else, I secured a job and was whisked off without having a chance to officially say goodbye to any friends because we were under the assumption that we would shortly return for a weekend that never happened for one reason or another. Having arrived a few months later than anticipated in Chicago, the weather was extremely cold which made church planting efforts really slow. The contacts that we had previously made prior to moving (you know, the “call me when you get there” people) never came through. About half of the mailer we sent out to people in the community came back a few months later as undeliverable (I’ve heard Chicago mail is the worst in the nation). We, by the grace of God, have some really great college students that have joined our church community, but have gone back to their homes for the summer leaving our living room quite empty. We recently started an outreach campaign and are anxiously awaiting the fruit.
So here I am. Waiting on God. Depending on God. Maybe things haven’t always gone as planned, but I know God is with me. Maybe the point is not what God is going to do, but what is God doing. I know he’s building the man I am to be, a man of patience and endurance, a man that can trust God when things don’t go according to plan, a man after God’s heart not his own, a man God can use.
Maybe waiting is actually “the present” from God (no pun intended) and “the present” is something I should enjoy because it’s from God. Enjoy the wait… the payoff is worth it.