I have a sleep disorder. Not really, but it feels like it.
Lately I haven’t been able to sleep well. I lay awake and toss and turn, heart pounding like I drank 5 cups of coffee before bed (sometimes guilty), and mind racing about everything I NEED to get done. Then, when it’s time to get things done… I’m tired.
There is this passage in the Scriptures that often haunts me. It reminds me of how I can get a spiritual sleep disorder in my relationship. In Luke 10:38-42 we find Jesus chill-axin at Mary and Martha’s house. Martha was cooking, cleaning, serving while her sister Mary just sat at Jesus’ feet and listened to Him teach. Martha gets fed up after awhile of doing everything by herself and says to Jesus,
“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary, Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” [ESV]
What is the necessary thing here? What was it that Martha was missing? Could it be her lack of discernment concerning the timing of service? It wasn’t that serving was wrong, but the timing might have just been off. Jesus could have very easily asked her to serve Him, at which point Martha’s efforts could have been made effective. Maybe Jesus didn’t want the 5-course dinner she was preparing, but rather a pizza. If she took the time to sit at the feet of Jesus, she would have been rested for when Jesus asked service of her. She might have even had the time to ask, “Jesus, what do you like to eat?”
It’s important we learn to rest in God and not worry about how WE are going to get everything done ourselves. God will show us. God will teach us.
Maybe my Jesus is saying to me, “Don’t worry… get some rest. Tomorrow you will wake up refreshed for service, but for now just rest in me.”
…now I just need to lay off the coffee (after 9pm at least).